That thing called LOVE

Sitting in my chamber today I thought of flipping and reading all the cases I have handled so far, not that it was easy but the f636018670503037682989051052_3D2BBCD0-4CC7-4F0B-AA8F88B187404AC4_agendaolder named ‘relationships’ made me curious. One of the colleague messaged me and asked, ‘Reena what is Love, he says he loves me but he makes me cry every alternate day if not daily. Do we love each other. Am I just clinging to it?’ I realized that is what every client asked me. What exactly is love?You google and you would find many quotes and definition for love, does that kind of love exist? In world of virtual relationships love has got dependent on chats, likes, comments and stalking. Love is more of possessing someone, stalking someone, seeking attention, sexual relationships without commitment. Sexual relations have become measure of love, or let’s put it the only line between good friend, best friend, boyfriend is ‘sleeping together’, not waking together! Saying ‘I Love You’s ‘, have become a casual talk amongst friends. Not that you can’t love a friend but emoticons which was for ‘that one special’ has now become a way of talking.

Everyone has their own definition of love, and why is love this overrated? People confuse infatuation with love, people confuse strong liking with love, people confuse sexual attraction with love and this confusions go on and on. So what exactly is love?

Virtual love has slowly creeped in our daily life, dating these days is texting someone 24X7, Showing fondness is commenting mushy mushy on their social media pictures and posts. 

The quasi intimacy of the texting relationship forestalls real intimacy, which then creates a split that is difficult to cross.  The virtual romance happens at a pace and rhythm and with a ease that has little to do with romance or, for that matter, the emotionally matured relationship. And furthermore, the closeness that has transpired over text becomes imprisoning; what has been experienced in the device is not appropriate to the real-life relationship, which then becomes reason to avoid one other in actual life. The real relationship not only can’t catch up with the virtual relationship, but also becomes its hostage.

But can virtual world make us feel the connected, loved, cherished the way real relationship would ever?

 The questions are innumerable but the basic question remains same, What is love? Falling in love is a journey. There are stages, uphill climbs, breezy trails, slippery slopes and everything in between. Every stage requires companionship, trust and confidence in each other, compa635897222461577840-361588591_pinky-lovetibility; Physical , emotional, spiritual and intellectual. If any of the factor miss love fades out with time. But isn’t this an ideal situation , does it exist ? 

This answer can be given by the one who actually experience it! Are you the one:) 

Love is simple, people are complicated, Expectations make it more complicated!

 Express it and Feel it! If after an year ‘I love You’, sound same how it did for the first time it is love, If you see your dreams in their eyes it’s love, If you have confidence that you will sail through, it is love, If you see bright future with them it is love, if you cry and smile together it is love, if they excite and gives you stability both, it is love! Love is understanding and connecting the dots forever and ever! Love is experiencing all emotions together, Love is uplifting each other, love is being strength but making weak in knees! And it does EXIST !!


With Love 

Dr Reena Bhansali 

Counseling Psychologist 

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